machistado:

I’m going to lose it if I don’t stop with the Yeezy spam but it’s just too good:

35. I love commercial art!!! I know that sounds like an oxy moron and if I spelled that wrong I just sound like a moron lol!!! —Sept. 23, 2010

34. Man…ninjas are kind of cool…I just don’t know any personally  —Sept. 23, 2010

33. Imma make a book of my tweets.. tweetbook —Aug. 10, 2010

32. Don’t you hate when people clap to loud in the car…it’s like yo this is a closed area.. your clapping is waaay to loud!!! hahahahahaaa  —Aug. 15, 2010

31. I make awesome decisions in bike stores!!!  —Sept. 18, 2010

30. I always misspell genius SMH! The irony! —Nov. 2, 2010

29. I think it’s only ok for a dude to call you baby if they’re a Hollywood agent and you kind of cringe when they say it or if yall hooping  —Oct. 14, 2010

28. There is no astronaut training for celebrity…even though this whole life is so outer space!  —Jan. 17, 2011

27. You can’t look at a glass half full or empty if it’s overflowing  —Aug. 7, 2010

26. How much is a shit load exactly? I’m assuming it’s more than a piss load.  —Sept. 6, 2010

25. Is illuminati and devil worshipping like the same thing…do they have a social network that celebs can sign up for?  —Oct. 24, 2010

24. Classical music is tight yo —July 29, 2010

23. Why Halloween bring out girls inner hoe…I was sposed to type freak but I just typed what I really meant instead. LOL  —Oct. 30, 2010

22. NO ALCOHOL BEFORE TATTOOS  —Jan. 26, 2011

21. I meant to capitalize Christ…fuuuuuuck I’m going to hell now…lol!!!  —Oct. 16, 2010

20. Boyfriends are like rush hour traffic…ALWAYS IN THE FUCKING WAY!  —Feb. 27, 2011

19. I ordered the salmon medium instead of medium well I didn’t want to ruin the magic —July 29, 2010

18. You basically can say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end  —Sept. 16, 2010

17. Do you know where to find marble conference tables? I’m looking to have a conference…not until I get the table though  —Aug. 28, 2010

16. I just threw some kazoo on this bitch  —Feb. 7, 2011

15. I’m just tryna keep it symmetrical —Aug. 15, 2010

14. sometimes I push the door close button on people running towards the elevator. I just need my own elevator sometimes, my 7 floor sanctuary  —Aug. 4, 2010

13. Hotel robe got me feeling like a Sheik  —Nov. 12, 2010

12. French fries are the Devil —Aug. 20, 2010

11. Never do coke with an intern…they may not be 21 LOL  —Nov. 4, 2010

10. I love me —July 31, 2010

9. I would like to thank Julius Caesar for originating my hairstyle  —Jan 21, 2011

8. Fur pillows are hard to actually sleep on —Aug. 1, 2010

7. I didn’t know Howie Mandel was part of Train  —Feb. 13, 2011

6. I don’t ever watch dramas on a plane…I don’t be wanting to reflect  —Oct. 14, 2010

5. Man…whatever happened to my antique fish tank?  —Sept. 9, 2010

4. I’m sorry Taylor. —Sept. 4, 2010

3. I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh  —July 29, 2010

2. Sometimes I get emotional over fonts  —Aug. 17, 2010

1. I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle —Oct. 16, 2010

(via mei-gin)